Where Has All The Romance Gone

I am an avid Nicholas Sparks reader and I love watching sappy love stories. When I watch shows with intense romances, I start to think about romance. Now some people believe that movies set an unrealistic standard for romance, but the truth is when women watch these movies they pine for it because it's really not unrealistic. Sure twilight is a bit on a crazy side but stories like the notebook don't involve two robots who fall in love with lasers, it is about two people who have been through it all and still love each other enough to stand by each other through it all.

So these movie don't set an unrealistic standard for women's views on love, it is just that romance has disappeared.

There was once a time when a man would die for the honor of a woman. There was a time when men would fight to the death over a woman, but now we have men that don't want to support their children, let alone the woman who birthed them, and men who use terms like booty and SWAG!

There is nothing unrealistic about these romance movies, its just that society has turned their back on them. Now I know that finances are the number one reason behind divorce, but I wonder how different this statistic would be if romance was what it once was or what it is in the movies.

Infidelity is common, but its because there is a lack of romance, people crave the thrill of the beginning of a relationship because that is the only place where romance still stands.

Men always claim that they don't understand women, but the answer is clear. When you sit down and watch a movie of a true love story and think to yourself great chick flick, you are missing out on the clear picture.

Women want romance ...just like in the movies....but what exists today is far from romance, if you look at some of the classic movies to today's standards, there would be major differences...

Titanic- if she didn't take the spot on the lifeboat, he would have called her stubborn and taken her seat.
The Notebook- He would have just kept sleeping around with women and drank himself stupid, called himself a player and her nothing but a gold digger.
Ghost- She would have collected the life insurance policy and found herself a man half her age (like Ashton).

Aside from coming back to the dead, these movies aren't asking for a lot from men in terms of romance, they represent how a man would die trying to save a woman, how nothing and no one can keep you away from someone you have to have, and that once you have her, there is no one that could ever replace her.

A little romance can go a long way, even though our lives get busy, the woman in your life should always know that she is the one, that she has always been the one, and if not, then you are not meant to be.

Hopelessly Romantic

-Miss Information

Defining Selfishness

I have kind of jumped a few topics ahead here because I stumbled across a topic that seems important to cover, but it is often ignored. I wanted to see if we could actually define the term selfishness and to see if there are boundaries to being selfish. We learn that selfishness is doing for ones self. We know that sometimes it is important to be selfish, but how far is too far when it comes to selfishness and at what costs should you be selfish?

It is important to be selfish from time to time, especially if you are someone who always does for others. When you are a mom, it is OK to be selfish from time to time because you dedicate your entire life to someone else. So when you spend all your money clothing kids, it is OK to be selfish from time to time to buy yourself a pair of pants.

Sometimes defining selfishness is simple, but other times not so much. When it comes to the matter of the heart is it OK to be selfish. When you are hurting people who love you in order to do for yourself, is selfish going to far?

It is human nature to be selfish, but how do you draw the line between doing right by you and doing right by others? Can you argue that you should always get what you want despite of how it makes others feel. Does it make a difference when it comes to who you are neglecting with selfish actions.

At the other time, at what point do you have a say when it comes to interfering with other peoples actions without being selfish for yourself? Are you selfish when you are asking someone to go against something they enjoy if it means keeping them around longer?

Selfishness can be both good and bad, but finding the line between good and bad is difficult, if not somewhat impossible.

Communicating In Relationships- A New Outlook On Your Biggest Problems & Tips For A Solution

So today I have decided to touch base on relationships. I personally have been in a relationship for quite a few years with a great guy, for safety purposes we will call him KJ, KJ and I have been together for quite some time and we have had our share of problems. I have come to the conclusion that too many relationships fail. I see it on television and in real life, when couples find one thing they don't like about the other person, they make that grounds of termination for the relationship.

I didn't want that for KJ & I, and I didn't want our daughter to grow up like that. So I started to do some evaluations and some research about communication and relationships (I research everything, thus the name Miss. Information). After I have done some of the research, this is what I have learned.

• Most of the time, both parties in the argument are wrong.
• You are too close to see that you are being irrational or over dramatic. 
• Everyone has opinions and most arguments stem from those opinions.

After seeing these key points, that is when it hit me! There is an answer and they are right when they say communication is key. KJ and I have tried multiple of these tactics and you wouldn't believe the wonders that they have done for our relationship. (We Still Fight Sometimes, But This Helps). To begin, there are a few things you need to know about the communication process. 

• Everyone has opinions
• Everyone has the right to that opinion, when you get mad over your partner voicing that opinion, you are getting upset for them feeling the way that they feel. 
• Bottling up the way you feel, will get worse. 
• When you scream about someone telling you how they feel, you are telling them that they don't really feel that way...no matter what you say, what you argue, or what you do, that is how your partner feels and you need to hear it. 

I believe these points are commonly looked over when it comes to relationships, which stems into more frequent fighting and more problems in the relationship. If you aren't good at communicating, then here are some thing KJ & I have done to help the process. 

• Try taking 2 hours a week to go grab coffee and just talk.....about anything. 
• Take some times to write out the negatives you don't like about your partner and the positives as well. Sit down and discuss your list. Each person gets to make their negatives argument without interruption (They get to say whats on their mind). After you have gone through the negatives list, read the positives, to make your partner feel good and remember why you fell in love in the first place. 

These two things alone will allow you to see drastic changes in your relationships and will help open up the doors to communication. No one is perfect and every finds annoyances with their partner. When KJ gets upset with me, I always remind him of the efforts he put into the persuit of dating me... 

No matter how you feel right now, remember, there was a time when you HAD to have me...

-Miss Information