Communicating In Relationships- A New Outlook On Your Biggest Problems & Tips For A Solution

So today I have decided to touch base on relationships. I personally have been in a relationship for quite a few years with a great guy, for safety purposes we will call him KJ, KJ and I have been together for quite some time and we have had our share of problems. I have come to the conclusion that too many relationships fail. I see it on television and in real life, when couples find one thing they don't like about the other person, they make that grounds of termination for the relationship.

I didn't want that for KJ & I, and I didn't want our daughter to grow up like that. So I started to do some evaluations and some research about communication and relationships (I research everything, thus the name Miss. Information). After I have done some of the research, this is what I have learned.

• Most of the time, both parties in the argument are wrong.
• You are too close to see that you are being irrational or over dramatic. 
• Everyone has opinions and most arguments stem from those opinions.

After seeing these key points, that is when it hit me! There is an answer and they are right when they say communication is key. KJ and I have tried multiple of these tactics and you wouldn't believe the wonders that they have done for our relationship. (We Still Fight Sometimes, But This Helps). To begin, there are a few things you need to know about the communication process. 

• Everyone has opinions
• Everyone has the right to that opinion, when you get mad over your partner voicing that opinion, you are getting upset for them feeling the way that they feel. 
• Bottling up the way you feel, will get worse. 
• When you scream about someone telling you how they feel, you are telling them that they don't really feel that way...no matter what you say, what you argue, or what you do, that is how your partner feels and you need to hear it. 

I believe these points are commonly looked over when it comes to relationships, which stems into more frequent fighting and more problems in the relationship. If you aren't good at communicating, then here are some thing KJ & I have done to help the process. 

• Try taking 2 hours a week to go grab coffee and just talk.....about anything. 
• Take some times to write out the negatives you don't like about your partner and the positives as well. Sit down and discuss your list. Each person gets to make their negatives argument without interruption (They get to say whats on their mind). After you have gone through the negatives list, read the positives, to make your partner feel good and remember why you fell in love in the first place. 

These two things alone will allow you to see drastic changes in your relationships and will help open up the doors to communication. No one is perfect and every finds annoyances with their partner. When KJ gets upset with me, I always remind him of the efforts he put into the persuit of dating me... 

No matter how you feel right now, remember, there was a time when you HAD to have me...

-Miss Information